[The scene opens with an aerial shot
of a studio set. There are two men sitting behind a desk. One is Yo
Kurasawa - the legendary commentator, notorious pervert, and current
Vice President of Talent Relations and Head Booker for Iron Japan.
Next to him is Taka Shimura - another veteran voice in puroresu. A
video screen is behind them.]
KURASAWA: Hello, and welcome to
the English language highlight show for Iron Japan Pro Wrestling! No
weight or gender classes! No rules! I'm Yo Kurasawa. I'm joined by my
longtime colleague, Taka Shimura. We're at Korakuen Hall for three
nights of Puroresu Power. Tonight kicked off an exciting weekend that
will end in a huge match for the IJPW World Wrestling Championship.
We will also see the crowning of the first IJPW World Tag Team
Champions.
SHIMURA:
But those two things are on Saturday night. Even after tonight,
there's still a lot of action to get through tomorrow. The eight-team
tournament to crown the World Tag Team Champions started tonight,
with the semi-finals set to take place here tomorrow.
KURASAWA:
There's been some controversy in regards to one of the teams. That
will be touched on later. Before we get into the main card, we will dedicate some time to the dark matches on these highlight shows. We didn't have one for the Grand Opening, but we didn't have a solid core of students in the IJPW Dojo who were ready. We had to use security for the last show to break up a fight. Now all of that, including ring crew, clean-up, and ringside attendant duties will be done by the dojo students. You will see them at ringside in black Iron Japan track suits.
SHIMURA: Tonight's dark match was Atsumori Nakadai
vs. Masaru Maeda. The referee was Toyoko Toshikura.Maeda won after in 10:24 after a rush of punches. He kept attacking Nakadai after getting
the pinfall. Maeda is a special breed of nasty. Nakadai has a lot of
potential and he's a better wrestler, but Maeda is a better fighter.
Six
Person Tag Team Match
The
Alternative (Vera Yordanka and Christy Hayden) and Miss Lizzy vs.
Charm Explosion (Nicki Scherer and Muffin Vanderburg) and Jackie
Walters
KURASAWA: The
first match on the main card tonight was an all-female affair. It's safe to say that
everyone in this match is liked by the fans. Vera Yordanka, the
Bulgarian punk rocker, has learned her craft here in Japan from the
ground up. She even considers herself Japanese at this point, and
speaks the language almost fluently.
SHIMURA:
Eh...
KURASAWA:
She does a very good job, Taka. Probably not in writing, but she
definitely has the speaking part down. Vera has taken Christy Hayden
under her wing – a newcomer to Japan who hails from Portland,
Oregon. Together, they are The Alternative – two women who promote
the freedom of expression. They were teamed with Miss Lizzy, who has
bounced between here and her native land of Australia.
SHIMURA:
You can see some of the Japanese influence in her work. Much like
Vera, you can tell what inspired her to become a wrestler.
KURASAWA:
Those three ladies were up against Charm Explosion, who were on the
losing end of an Eight Person Tag Team Match at the Grand Opening
last month. Muffin Vanderburg, who is often very happy, has been
furious
over the way she was treated in that match – when Ryuichi Hojo
uncharacteristically stuffed her head down his tights on a
piledriver, and still hasn't offered a public explanation.
SHIMURA:
Some of Muffin's most vocal supporters were actually Vera and
Christy! And here she was, fighting against them in this match!
KURASAWA:
The other half of Charm Explosion is the very technically gifted
Englishwoman – Nicki Scherer. Both her and Muffin are newcomers to
Japan. They were teamed with Jackie Walters.
SHIMURA:
Jackie has some of the most brutal knees and kicks I have ever seen.
She's a name in the American indies. This was her chance to make a
name for herself on the big stage of Iron Japan!
KURASAWA:
One
team had a good level of experience in Japan, while the other was
made up of ladies looking to find their footing. The referee for this
bout was Kanzaburo Outakara.
Eight
Person Tag Team Match
KANNON,
Los Asesinos (Raul El Aguila and Roberto Lopez), and Jocelin
Masterson vs. Sun Demon, Jun Hageshii, Astro Honami, and HATOYAMA
KURASAWA:
The next match featured quite a mix of characters when you look at it
on paper. KANNON is the King of the Dark World, and he comes out with
that Dark World Championship – an unsanctioned title belt...
SHIMURA: You wouldn't expect the “Dark World Champion” to team up with Los Asesinos and Jocelin Masterson, but he was all in if it meant getting his hands on Sun Demon and Jun Hageshii.
KURASAWA: KANNON has always been the opposite to Sun Demon in their careers, so
it wasn't anything new to see those two at it in the press when the card for Night One was announced earlier this month. But KANNON/Hageshii has the potential to be a rivalry in the making.
SHIMURA:
It's Jun Hageshii vs. the world. He could start a war if he was the last living being on this planet. I don't know how Hageshii does it in any sort of tag match. He hates
everyone, but he pulls it together long enough to be a highly
valuable partner. Guys like Sun Demon, Astro Honami, and HATOYAMA are
definitely not his type either. He's willing to do whatever it takes to win. Jun loves winning more than he hates people.
KURASAWA: Masanori Katayanagi was the official for this match.
POST-MATCH
ANALYSIS
KURASAWA:
Of all the people in this match, it was Masterson who made a name for
herself by making Sun Demon submit!
SHIMURA:
Iron Japan isn't just a land of collective legends and well-known
names. It's a land of opportunity, and Masterson made the most of
hers tonight. She easily could have been lost amongst people like
KANNON, Sun Demon, and Hageshii... But she won the match for her
team. And while she might be a gaijin, you can tell where she learned
to wrestle – right here in Japan.
Six Person Tag
Team Match
Ultraviolence
Union (Riddick, Ricky Holt, and Teiji Shintaro) vs. Deadly Three
(Lolly Lea, Lainey Boyle, and Lorie Koenig)
KURASAWA:
The next match featured three sadistic men against three notorious
women. Riddick lost the Grand Opening co-main event against Konosuke
Usami, then attacked him and referee Cassidy Reischer after the
match. The hardcore legend is joined by a ruthless rookie by the name
of Ricky Holt, who is a fellow creature of the cold upper midwest in
America – Riddick being from Muskegon, Michigan and Holt being from
Minneapolis, Minnesota. Rounding out their trio is Teiji Shintaro,
who is the most noticeable man in every room he enters.
SHIMURA:
Not just because of his look, but the way he smells! He's a
coprophile who comes out covered in his own excrement!
KURASAWA:
They were up against the Deadly Three – Lolly, Lainey, and Lorie.
They beat Los Asesinos at the Grand Opening after a very impressive
display from “The Boston Bitch” Lainey Boyle.
SHIMURA:
Lorie Koenig didn't even have to do anything. She never got tagged in
before Boyle knocked out Selena Martinez. Who would have thought
being in an Iron Japan match could be someone's easiest payday?
KURASAWA:
It was a battle between two imposing factions. The referee was Nanako
Fujioka.
BEFORE
THE MATCH
[“Unsettling
Differences” by Blue Smock Nancy is playing as the Ultraviolence
Union make their way to the ring. Riddick and Teiji climb into the
ring, but Holt walks toward the announce table.]
KURASAWA:
[In Japanese.]
These are three of the most violent individuals in profe–
[Switching
to English as Ricky gets close enough for his words to get picked up
over the air.]
What
do you want, Ricky?
HOLT:
It's fucking bullshit, Yo!
KURASAWA:
Oh, you've been on this all month!
HOLT:
I just want everyone to know that it's bullshit that Katsushika and
Shizuka are in the World Tag Team Championship Tournament and not
Teiji and I! Why do they get to be in that tournament?! Because
Katsushika is World Champ and Shizuka's fucking him?! What have they
done as a tag team?! It's bullshit! It's
fucking bullshit! Teiji
and I are coming for those belts! Whoever wins that stupid tournament
will have to deal with us!
[Points
at Yo.]
Translate
that to the masses, you kinky bastard!
Eight
Person Tag Team Match
Konosuke Usami, El Loco, and Tokyo Queens (Tae Muraguchi and Kayoko
Komon) vs. Miyazaki Bokkai, Killer Komukai, and Black Thorns (Ashley
Thorne and Trista Capra)
KURASAWA:
If you think Usami was just going to kill time before his World title
match on night three, then guess again. He got to team up with the
legendary El Loco, and shared the privilege with the odd couple –
Tae Muraguchi and Kayoko Komon – the Tokyo Queens. Usami ran into
familiar opposition in the form of Killer Komukai, who look to resume
their battles in this new promotion. One of the individuals teaming
with Komukai was Miyazaki Bokkai, who defeated El Loco at the Grand
Opening an–
SHIMURA:
Really?
KURASAWA:
Yeah! He hasn't stopped talking about it!
SHIMURA:
He pinned a legend in their first match out of retirement, so I don't
blame him. Loco is the most prolific Cruiserweight Champion of
all-time.
KURASAWA:
Rounding out that team was Black Thorns – Trista Capra and Ashley
Thorne, who were also disappointed not to be included in the World
Tag Team Championship Tournament. Thorne is one of the strongest
women out there. She's a power lifter from Vancouver who can drink
anyone under the table. She also has a hell of a partner in Trista
Capra – a 54-year-old wicked woman from Pittsburgh who is no
stranger to Japan.
SHIMURA:
Or to bloodshed for that matter. She might be old, but that means
she's seen a lot! After terrorizing the joshi scene in the '90s,
Trista disappeared in the noughties before coming back in 2010. She's
just as evil, brutal, and tough as ever.
KURASAWA:
She's still kind of hot too.
SHIMURA:
I'll... um... I'll just say she's in great shape for a 54-year-old
woman who brought deathmatches to joshi puroresu.
KURASAWA:
Speaking of attractive women, the referee for this contest was
Cassidy Reischer. She appeared to be more skittish than usual. The
last time she was in a ring was at the Grand Opening, where Riddick
assaulted her with a barbwire baseball bat. Anyway, onto the match...
IJPW World Tag Team
Championship Tournament
First Round
Noble
Power (Nobuyoki Katsushika and Sakura Shizuka) vs. Trans-Pacific
Poison (Ginger Mattingly and Nori Imoo)
KURASAWA:
This next match rolled in the tag team tournament. World Wrestling
Champion Nobuyoki Katsushika went into Puroresu Power knowing there
was a possibility of him getting double booked on night three, but he
didn't want to hold his dear Sakura back from getting gold. He is
also highly driven to become the first ace of Iron Japan.
SHIMURA:
Noble Power hasn't been a team for long, but we're talking about the
World Champion teaming with one of the biggest names in joshi puroresu. They
have looked good as a unit before this tournament.
KURASAWA:
Trans-Pacific Poison are still kind of new, but they've also been
very impressive. It was Nori Imoo who got a huge pin fall over Kuni
Hishida in a Six Person Tag Team Match at the Grand Opening. After
looking for her breakout moment in the joshi scene, she got it in the
inter-gender world of IJPW! Her partner, Ginger Mattingly, is no
stranger to Japan either.
SHIMURA:
Interesting fact: Mattingly trained at the same gym in Minneapolis as Ricky Holt! She's going to wear a purple jacket to the ring all through Puroresu Power as a tribute to Prince. Her and Imoo also plan to come out to "Let's Go Crazy."
KURASAWA:
The St. Paul native, much like Imoo, has been looking for a breakout
moment. They were the underdogs in this match-up. Jimmy Erikson was
the official for this match.
IJPW World Tag Team
Championship Tournament
First Round
DanHojo (Ryuichi Hojo and Danjuro Komatsuzaki) vs. Doyle Brothers
(Ricky Doyle and Ronnie Doyle)
KURASAWA: There
was a lot of heat leading up to this match! Danjuro Komatsuzaki's
dojo has been going for awhile, and it has become the IJPW Dojo.
Ronnie Doyle used to train in Danjuro's dojo. The thing about Danjuro
is that, well... He's kind of xenophobic. Gaijins train at the gym,
but–
SHIMURA:
I asked you this during the Japanese broadcast, but why is he the
dojo master again?
KURASAWA:
He's the best trainer around. Like him or not, he's going to make
sure only the best young prospects make it into an IJPW ring. Ronnie
is not a young boy, however. He just wanted a place to train. The
Belfast brawler doesn't take shit from anyone, and neither does his
brother.
SHIMURA:
Let's not forget Hojo. We mentioned earlier how he got heat over
his... whatever the hell you even call it... that tight-stuffing
piledriver on Muffin Vanderburg. DanHojo are neutrals, and they have
their fans, but there were a lot of people who wanted to see the
Doyle Brothers stretch and knock them out.
KURASAWA: The
referee for this match was Mabuchi Hida.
POST-MATCH
HIGHLIGHTS
[The
Doyle Brothers have left. Komatsuzaki leans against the ropes,
disappointed, as Hojo favors his arm. Fans start to make noise as
Muffin Vanderburg comes out by herself. She grabs a microphone from a
table at ringside.]
VANDERBURG:
Hey Hojo! You haven't said anything after what you did to me last
month! What the hell was what about?! You scum bag! You notice how I
came out here by myself? Because this isn't about DanHojo or Charm
Explosion. This is about me and you. Since you're not in the
tournament anymore, I want to fight you tomorrow night!
[One
doesn't need to speak English to know Muffin, who is regularly
cheerful, is pissed off and calling out Hojo. Just to make it clear,
she points at him, and then at herself, and says “ashita” – making it known that she wants to fight tomorrow night. Hojo
calls for a microphone from dojo student Tomeo Komiya at ringside.]
HOJO: [In
Japanese.] You want to
fight tomorrow? No problem! I will prove that women don't belong in
this ring! Inter-gender wrestling ruins our sport! I will make you
tap out again! Stupid woman!
[Hojo
drops the microphone. Its sound thumps through the speakers when it
hits the canvas, making an awkward moment even more uncomfortable. Muffin doesn't know what he said other than he accepted, and whatever
else he said wasn't very flattering. She can pick up on that based on
the feeling in the building.]
KURASAWA: [In Japanese.] That didn't take long. IJPW's second show and we already have a feud built on misogyny.
SHIMURA: [In Japanese.] Yeah... That's unfortunate. Of all the people on the roster, I didn't expect it from Hojo.
KURASAWA: [In Japanese.] I didn't expect it either, but it's not too shocking now that I think about what he's like outside of the ring. Let's just say that he's not the best with waitresses.
[Danjuro questions Hojo in the middle of the ring, but then he just shrugs after a few sentences and shakes his head. Muffin walks away knowing there's a Friday night fight to prepare for.]
KURASAWA: [In Japanese.] That didn't take long. IJPW's second show and we already have a feud built on misogyny.
SHIMURA: [In Japanese.] Yeah... That's unfortunate. Of all the people on the roster, I didn't expect it from Hojo.
KURASAWA: [In Japanese.] I didn't expect it either, but it's not too shocking now that I think about what he's like outside of the ring. Let's just say that he's not the best with waitresses.
[Danjuro questions Hojo in the middle of the ring, but then he just shrugs after a few sentences and shakes his head. Muffin walks away knowing there's a Friday night fight to prepare for.]
IJPW World Tag Team
Championship Tournament
First Round
Dave
Manton and Stan Ward vs. Rotten Saints (Big Ugly and Freddy Deeds)
KURASAWA: This
battle of the gaijins wouldn't look out of place in any street or
bar. Dave Manton is a former bouncer and beer league hockey player
from Winnipeg. He's formed a famous partnership here in Japan with
Stan Ward – a tough cowboy from Bandera, Texas.
SHIMURA:
They're mean and they hit hard. They love to fight. They have
successful singles careers, but they became a team after a match
against one another. The fans don't like them, but they don't care.
KURASAWA: They
took on the Rotten Saints – Detroit's most notorious. Freddy Deeds
is a very talented wrestler with a wide range of moves and strikes in
his arsenal. Big Ugly brings the violence. He can take it just as
good as he can give it. They called him Big Ugly since he was a teen
because he's apparently had scars on his head since he was twelve.
SHIMURA:
Some of those scars come from street fights and others are from
backyard wrestling. He might be the only person in IJPW with a
backyard wrestling background.
KURASAWA:
He's at least the only one who proudly admits to it. The referee for
this match was Tashiaki Suzuki.
*** MAIN EVENT ***
IJPW World Tag Team
Championship Tournament
First Round
Imperial (AKIO and Kuni Hishida) vs. Blazing Lions (Michinori Osaragi
and Morio Kamisaka)
KURASAWA: The
main event showcased two of the most loved teams in Japan. Imperial
were on the losing end of a Six Person Tag Team Match at the Grand
Opening. Kuni Hishida has been respectful to Nori Imoo and given her
credit for pinning her, but Kuni has also stated that she's not happy
with losing in her first IJPW match. Her longtime partner in both the
ring and in life, AKIO, has expressed his own disappointment and
feels he's let his legion of fans down ever since falling from the
world title scene.
SHIMURA: You
could see how badly Imperial wanted to win when they came out. They
view Iron Japan as a fresh start and a chance to regain a top spot in
puroresu.
KURASAWA:
But they got drawn against Blazing Lions – the most successful
active tag team in Japan. They might not be as loved as Imperial, and
critics often accuse them for lacking charisma, but they've built up
an endearment through their many successes and fans actually want to
see them win even more.
SHIMURA: They
have a way of carrying themselves. Osaragi and Kamisaka are not
arrogant, but they are confident men. They are confident because they
are seasoned tag team veterans with a winning formula. Watching
Blazing Lions trot out to the ring is like watching the World Cup
champions step onto the pitch.
KURASAWA: Kuni
Ariwara was the referee for this main event contest.
WRAP-UP
KURASAWA: That
concludes the highlights. We will be back here at Korakuen Hall
tomorrow night, in front of another packed crowd of 2,005. Here is
the Friday night card:
*** MAIN EVENT ***
IJPW World Tag Team
Championship Tournament
Semi-Final
Doyle
Brothers (Ricky Doyle and Ronnie Doyle) vs. Noble Power (Nobuyoki
Katsushika and Sakura Shizuka)
*** CO-MAIN EVENT
***
IJPW World Tag Team
Championship Tournament
Semi-Final
Dave Manton and Stan Ward
vs. Blazing Lions (Michinori
Osaragi and Morio Kamisaka)
Eight Person Tag Team
Match
Ultraviolence Union
(Riddick, Ricky Holt, and Teiji Shintaro) and Jun Hageshii vs.
Konosuke Usami, El Loco, AKIO, and Killer Komukai
Singles Grudge Match
Ryuichi
Hojo vs. Muffin Vanderburg
Eight
Person Tag Team Match
Black
Thorns (Ashley Thorne and Trista Capra) and Rotten Saints (Big Ugly
and Freddy Deeds) vs. Danjuro Komatsuzaki, Kuni Hishida, and
Trans-Pacific Poison (Ginger Mattingly and Nori Imoo)
Singles
Match
KANNON
vs. Miyazaki Bokkai
Singles
Match
Lainey
Boyle vs. Jocelin Masterson
Singles
Match
Fabulous
Adrian Bagglio vs. Astro Honami
SHIMURA: There's
the tag team semi-finals. FAB debuts. Boyle and Masterson get a
singles opportunity. Hojo and Vanderburg in that controversial grudge
match. The Eight Person Tag Team Match has a lot of bad blood in that
ring.
KURASAWA: That
does it for the English language highlights show. Join us again
tomorrow night at Korakuen Hall! He's Taka Shimura. I'm Yo Kurasawa.
Good night!
[FADE
TO BLACK.]
