IJPW World Crown 2016 - Night Ten

[The scene opens with an aerial shot of a studio set. There are two men sitting behind a desk. One is Yo Kurasawa - the legendary commentator, notorious pervert, and current Vice President of Talent Relations and Head Booker for Iron Japan. Next to him is Eric O'Flaherty – a pale man in an Irish flat cap. A video screen is behind them.]

KURASAWA: Welcome to the English language highlight show for Iron Japan Pro Wrestling! Tonight was the tenth and final night of World Crown 2016. It's been an action packed ten days. We crowned the first ever holder of the World Crown belt and they will get a shot at the IJPW World Wrestling Championship next month at International Incident – Night Three, which will be back here at the Tokyo Dome. The IJPW World Tag Team Championship was also contested tonight, and we crowned the first ever IJPW Television Champion. But as you can see, Taka is not here with us...

O'FLAHERTY: I grew up watching RSW, Yo. I grew up with you and him doing the English language coverage. You both will always hold a nostalgic spot in my heart, but... you know what happens when someone gets in Riddick's way. And that's why I'm here. I'm Eric O'Flaherty, by the way. People in America know me as the man in the background – the manager and founder of the Ultraviolence Union. Now because Taka got in Riddick's way, Yo needed to find someone to accompany him on the English language highlight show. Like a goal poacher, I know how to be in the right place and the right time!

KURASAWA: We're going to air Riddick's controversial interview after the Night Ten highlight show.

O'FLAHERTY: Are you expecting me to do the dark match report like Taka?

KURASAWA: It was Taka's thing. He wanted to do it. Do you want to do it?

O'FLAHERTY: Not really. I didn't fucking watch it. All I know is Mallory and Mercy got taken to a fifteen minute time limit draw by some fucking dojo students. Those fake cunts must still be hurting from their match against Ricky and Teiji last night. Now those bimbos can fuck off back to LA. This is IJPW. This is supposed to be real and gritty – just like the Ultraviolence Union.

KURASAWA: Anyway...

Eight Person Tag Team Match

Mexico vs. Japan

Los Asesinos (Raul El Aguila, Roberto Lopez, Selena Martinez) and El Loco vs. Sun Demon, Miyazaki Bokkai, Morio Kamisaka, and AKIO

KURASAWA: Our first match of the main card saw wrestlers from Mexico team up against wrestlers from Japan. El Loco trained Raul El Aguila at the Loco Combat Club in Brooklyn. That's a place you're familiar with, Eric.

O'FLAHERTY: You mean what used to be the Loco Combat Club? Oh yeah, I'm familiar. Loco doesn't like me that much, to say the least.

KURASAWA: Team Japan consisted of four fan favorites. Sun Demon has struggled to get on his feet in IJPW, while Miyazaki Bokkai defeated Loco at the Grand Opening. Morio Kamisaka has had to deal with his tag team partner getting his neck broken on Night One, and AKIO had to push the creepy Fabulous Adrian Bagglio into the back of his mind. Nene Hishikawa was the referee for this match.

Singles Grudge Match

Kuni Hishida vs. Fabulous Adrian Bagglio

KURASAWA: FAB targeted Kuni Hishida after her first round loss to Nobuyoki Katsushika and revealed a thong he stole from her. After defeating her on Night Eight at Budokan in a match where he often sexually forced himself on her, FAB continued his attack with a Singapore cane until Kuni's boyfriend, AKIO, ran out. FAB said he was going to do away with Kuni tonight once and for all, but this wasn't about her. It was about AKIO. He doesn't want AKIO in the ring. He wants him in the bedroom! Kuni wanted this match for her own redemption and to get herself on the winning path in IJPW. The referee for this match was Kuni Ariwara.

Singles Grudge Match

Markie Bristow vs. Danjuro Komatsuzaki

KURASAWA: Markie Bristow and IJPW Dojo Master Danjuro Komatsuzaki made a bet to see who could go further in the World Crown tournament. Danjuro won when the Englishman was eliminated in the first round. That wasn't good enough for Danjuro, who attacked Bristow after the match and ran down the English people. Danjuro's nationalism and xenophobia is no secret.

O'FLAHERTY: Tell me about it. He was a cunt to Ricky (Holt). He's also an idiot. We beat someone after you win a bet? Why the hell should Bristow pay him at this point?

KURASAWA: We don't know what was wagered. It was all apparently a bet that was made at a restaurant, and it certainly wasn't a friendly wager if Danjuro's words are anything to go by. The referee for this match was Tashiaki Suzuki.

Tag Team Match

Dave Manton and Stan Ward vs. Rotten Saints (Big Ugly and J Murda)

KURASAWA: Dave Manton broke Freddy Deeds' neck on his way to the World Crown semi-finals. Manton has broken two necks in the tournament with his jumping piledriver. With his tag team partner put out of action, Big Ugly called upon fellow Detroit native J Murda to be Freddy's stand-in. Murda actually grew up in the same area as Ugly and Deeds, but said his relationship with them was “complicated.” However, he was willing to be Big Ugly's partner against Manton and Ward! Jimmy Erikson was the official for this match.

Singles Grudge Match

Lainey Boyle vs. Muffin Vanderburg

KURASAWA: Muffin Vanderburg has had to fend for herself since her tag partner, Nicki Scherer, got her arm broken on Night One. The Deadly Three have taken advantage by targeting her throughout World Crown. “The Boston Bitch” Lainey Boyle hoped to put Muffin on the sidelines next to Scherer. Toyoko Toshikura wa–

O'FLAHERTY: So how hard was it for you to not wank off during this match? We've seen you do it before.

KURASAWA: I, uh...

O'FLAHERTY: What turns you on more – Muffin's hot next door neighbor look, or Lainey's dominating bitchiness? If I remember, you're kind of a fem dom guy...

KURASAWA: I can't pick one right now. The referee for this match was Toyoko Toshikura.

Singles Grudge Match

Konosuke Usami vs. KANNON

KURASAWA: This match was booked after what happened last night. KANNON and Usami were in the same team in an Eight Person Tag Team Match. Afterward, The King of the Dark World turned on the rising young star and spit a fireball into the face of IJPW Dojo student Jyoji Jumonji – severely burning him and putting him out of action. The referee for this match was Mabuchi Hida.

POST-MATCH HIGHLIGHTS

[KANNON knocks Usami through the ropes with a stiff forearm! Usami tumbles to the outside and his head bounces hard on the ringside padding. KANNON rolls out of the ring and looks underneath...]

KURASAWA: [In Japanese.] KANNON won't stop. What's he looking for?

SAKURAI: [In Japanese.] None of the dojo students want to step in after what happened to Jyoji Jumonji. Usami is completely at the mercy of a man who has none!

KURASAWA: [In Japanese.] That's a straight jacket. What the hell is this twisted man going to do?

[KANNON puts Usami in the straight jacket. He then takes out a chain from under the ring, ties it around Usami's neck, and rolls him onto the entry ramp.]

KURASAWA: [In Japanese.] KANNON is dragging Usami with that chain! He's dragging him all the way up the ramp!

SAKURAI: [In Japanese.] Where's he taking him?!

KURASAWA: [In Japanese.] He's dragging one of Japan's brightest young stars into the abyss!

IJPW Television Championship

 Nate Narwin vs. Trista Capra vs. Isamu Shinagami vs. Paul Cannon

KURASAWA: Nate Narwin and Trista Capra were eliminated from World Crown after brawling to a thirty minute time limit draw. They continued to fight after the bell. These two were booked for an opportunity to be the first IJPW Television Champion, but the door was open for anyone to impress and get into this match. Isamu Shinagami pinned Capra in a tag team match and “The Hardcore Lumberjack” Paul Cannon beat Big Ugly last night to get into this match.

O'FLAHERTY: Narwin and Capra are two of my all-time favorites. Narwin just doesn't give a fuck. It's a shame that he couldn't win a World title in his prime. Then you have The Original Deathmatch Queen in Capra, who was a real fox back in her day. 54-years-old! She's the Siouxsie Sioux of pro wrestling. You have so many fake goth bitches in the business these days, but Capra was the first to have the look and she's legit.

KURASAWA: Kanzaburo Outakara was the official for this championship match.

Six Person Tag Team Grudge Match

Noble Power (Nobuyoki Katsushika and Sakura Shizuka) and Suda Tsukasa vs. Curt Fleischer, Jun Hageshii, and Vera Yordanka

KURASAWA: Suda Tsukasa was one of the biggest stories in the World Crown tournament. “The King of Korakuen Hall” turned back the clocks and his Korakuen Hall magic took him through the first three rounds. Then he beat Jun Hageshii at Budokan in the quarter-finals, only to lose to John Scroggs in the semi-finals. Tonight, he teamed with his friends – IJPW World Wrestling Champion Nobuyoki Katsushika and Nobu's girlfriend, Sakura Shizuka. Shizuka has been attacked by both Hageshii and Vera Yordanka in the press lately as both accused her of sleeping with the champ to get her spot.

O'FLAHERTY: They're fucking right. She has this innocent and humble gimmick. It's such bullshit. I'm not having it. She's riding Katsushika's cock to the top.

KURASAWA: Add Curt Fleischer to the mix. Fleischer lost to Katsushika in the World title match at the Grand Opening and was eliminated by him in World Crown.

O'FLAHERTY: Fleischer is from St. Paul, over on the other side of the river from my hometown. He's a bad and scary man. Nobody ever fucked with him.

KURASAWA: Masanori Katayanagi was the official for this match.

POST-MATCH HIGHLIGHTS

[Tsukasa stands alone in the ring with a microphone in hand.]

TSUKASA: [In Japanese.] This has been an incredible ride. I honestly didn't know how far I could go in the World Crown tournament, but I knew it could be my last shot at being a World Champion again. The support from everyone all over the country was heartwarming. I thank everyone for getting behind me. Not just in this tournament, but all throughout the years. Now as I stand here in the Tokyo Dome after being pinned, everyone wonders if this was my last match. Is this how I want to go out? Do I have enough left to go out with a win on a stage this big? I don't know... I have a lot of thinking to do. But I thank you for the support. These last ten nights have been special! Thank you!

IJPW World Tag Team Championship

 Ultraviolence Union (Ricky Holt and Teiji Shintaro) vs. (c) Doyle Brothers (Ricky Doyle and Ronnie Doyle)

KURASAWA: Holt and Shintaro... Those are your boys, Eric.

O'FLAHERTY: Yeah. So what? What do ya want me to say?

KURASAWA: Do you have anything to say without spoiling the match?

O'FLAHERTY: Without spoiling the match? No...

KURASAWA: Okay then. Holy and Te–

O'FLAHERTY: I have something to say. Holt and Teiji are the most dangerous tag team on the planet. I've known Holt my whole life. We grew up together in South Minneapolis. You found Teiji, Yo. You actually sent him to us to give him exposure in America and he terrorized the place. This man is the living embodiment of the deathmatch. He is anarchist terrorism. Believe it or not, but the man who fights in his underwear and eats his own shit is one of the smartest people I've ever met in my life... and that makes him more dangerous. Doyle Brothers are two tough fuckers from Belfast, but they never came across two guys like Holt and Teiji. I'm not spoiling the match with anything I just said. The thing you have to know about my clients in the Ultraviolence Union is that win, lose, or draw – they will leave you give you the fight of your life. You'll be fighting for your life, Yo.

KURASAWA: Anything else?

O'FLAHERTY: Nope. Who was the ref?

KURASAWA: The referee for this IJPW World Tag Team Championship match was Nanako Fujioka.

*** MAIN EVENT ***

World Crown 2016 Final

 Riddick vs. John Scroggs

KURASAWA: Even before tonight, it was safe to say that Riddick was back in form. After struggling since his return to pro wrestling, Japan's most iconic and hardcore gaijin put on a captivating run to the World Crown Final.

O'FLAHERTY: Then he took out Taka Shimura in a pre-fight interview, and now I have an extra job in IJPW. Riddick knows how to make me money. As his manager and a longtime admirer, I was proud of him going into tonight.

KURASAWA: He took on a Baltimore bruiser by the name of John Scroggs – a gaijin who said he wanted to eclipse Riddick as the best gaijin in puroresu history. Scroggs is a former defensive tackle in college football. He's strong and fast. He eliminated the World Champion on his way to the final and took part in a classic bloodbath with Big Ugly.

O'FLAHERTY: The crowd had to pick between these two guys, even though they hate them both... but they chose wisely and pulled for Riddick. They boo him but they love to cheer him because he is Mr. Rising Sun Wrestling. A lot of those old RSW fans came out to fill the Tokyo Dome too!

KURASAWA: Oh yeah. RSW fans were not like traditional Japanese fans. They were loud, vulgar, and bloodthirsty. They caused riots. It was something puroresu has never seen before or since, but a lot of those fans came out to support Riddick tonight. Most of them were in the cheap seats, but their vocal support filtered to the rest of the Tokyo Dome as they cheered on the man who represents the spirit of that counter culture wrestling promotion. But Scroggs isn't a man for any of the romance. He's a big nasty bruiser who wanted to be the first World Crown holder. He wanted a chance to beat Katsushika again, and to beat him for the World title. This was it! Ten nights of World Crown action led up to this historic encounter at the Tokyo Dome! Two of the greatest gaijins of all-time! The referee was Cassidy Reischer.

POST-MATCH HIGHLIGHTS

[The Tokyo Dome is shaking as the fans scream and jump. Riddick gives them all the middle finger as Scroggs falls back into the ropes after an exhausting encounter.]

MATSUMUA: [In Japanese.] Your winner and the first ever holder of the World Crown – RIIIIDDIIIICK!

[Reischer goes to raise Riddick's hand but he knocks her down with a headbutt! Riddick stomps her face a few times as the fans cheer him on! He picks her up, runs her to the ropes, and hurts her over and onto the entry ramp! Reischer rolls a few feet away from an exiting Scroggs. Meanwhile, an upset Yo Kurasawa climbs into the ring with a microphone and the World Crown belt.]

KURASAWA: [Off microphone, but picked up by another mic at ringside.] Come on, man! Haven't you done enough?! First you almost kill Taka! Then you gotta beat up my favorite ref again?

RIDDICK: Oh, she's your favorite to spank it to now? I thought it was one of those other bitches? I can't tell them apart. So are ya gonna give me that belt and mic and fuck off, or do I gotta put you in the hospital next to Taka?!

[FAST FORWARD...

Riddick stands proudly with the World Crown over his shoulder. Ricky Holt and Teiji Shintaro stand behind him with the IJPW World Tag Team Championship belts over their shoulders. Teiji has an old woman in hokey overalls hanging on his arm. He doesn't seem to care for her, but he tolerates her for now. Eric O'Flaherty holds a baseball bat over his right shoulder.]

RIDDICK: I told you all I would win! There was a time when everyone thought my best days were gone. They thought I was washed up. I thought I was washed up... But now look at this! It's 2016 and I just headlined the Tokyo Dome yet again! I stand before you as the first ever World Crown holder. And now I'm going to bring the World title to the Ultraviolence Union!

[The old woman comes up from behind Riddick and shouts into the microphone.]

PSYCHNUTS: I'M PROUD OF MY SON FOR WINNING THE THING! THIS IS MY BOY AND ONCE UPON A TIME HIS DADDY PUT HIS SEED IN ME AND THEN HE FELL OUTTA MY FISHY PUSSY AN–

RIDDICK: [Pushes Psychnuts in the face.] Get the fuck out of here!

[Pychnuts falls back into Teiji, who grabs her by the throat and throws her right out of the ring! The crazy old woman splats hard on the ringside floor! Riddick pays no mind to it. He continues.]

RIDDICK: Get to the back of the line, Ronnie Doyle! I'm main eventing the Tokyo Dome once again next month when I cut the legs off Mr. Cat Shit! That giant retard! I'll cut his vocal chords out so we don't have to listen to another guy around here drone on about the fans and [doing a Japanese voice] “oh I ruv you! Thanks you for the support!” [Regular voice.] Fuck you. And to everyone who thought I was done – it's 2016 and I'm going to be a World Champion once again! And we already have the World Tag Team titles in the Ultraviolence Union! The wrestling world belongs to the Ultraviolence Union!

[Riddick carelessly tosses the microphone behind him and sends it sailing into the crowd. The Ultraviolence Union closes the show by showing off their belts.]

WRAP-UP

O'FLAHERTY: So, for anyone who gives a shit about Taka's tournament prediction record, picking Scroggs put him at 41-20-1 and cost him a ton in medical bills for the next few months.

KURASAWA: Get well soon, Taka. But Eric... any thoughts on tonight that you want to share?

O'FLAHERTY: Iron Japan Pro Wrestling belongs to the Ultraviolence Union. Nobody can stand in our way. Not Katsushika. Not Scroggs. Not the Doyle Brothers. Nobody. And on a personal note, I've come a long way... I was working at a McDonald's in Minneapolis at this point last year. I was a college grad who couldn't make anything out of my business degree because I fucked up my networking opportunities. I found someone who died of an overdose behind a dumpster during my night shift. I went home after my shift, poured whiskey, and watched Riddick's brutal career highlights in his DVD box set that RSW released years ago. A few months later, I found myself actually in the wrestling business – managing my longtime friend, Ricky Holt, and the guy we watched while growing up – Riddick. I'm managing Teiji Shintaro – the most dangerous man in professional wrestling. I went from a ghetto-ass McDonald's on Lake Street to the Tokyo Dome in over a few months, Yo. Now I'm doing this show and making even more money. I'm living the fucking dream.

[Beat.]

Also, I heard the Doyle Brothers already invoked their rematch clause. Bring it on. Holt and Teiji will beat you again at International Incident.

KURASAWA: International Incident will be three nights. Night One will be at the World Memorial Hall in Kobe. Two matches have already been booked. Trista Capra will defend her IJPW Television Champion against Lainey Boyle. The main event will see the Ultraviolence Union and Jun Hageshii take on Nobuyoki Katsushika, the Doyle Brothers, and El Loco.

O'FLAHERTY: The Union has worked with Hageshii before. He shares our thirst for blood. He's more than welcome to join the party for that main event.

KURASAWA: Night Two will be at the Saitama Super Arena. Night Three will be back here at the Tokyo Dome. That does it for us tonight. What an incredible ten nights it has been. Trista Capra is our first ever IJPW Television Champion. Holt and Shintaro are the new World Tag Team Champions. Riddick is the first holder of the World Crown and he's now on his way to a World title shot at the Tokyo Dome! For Eric O'Flaherty, I'm Yo Kurasawa. Good night from the Tokyo Dome!

[FADE TO BLACK.]